Hydration

I had been working on writing about skin hydration for a while... I wanted to talk about how I had made a habit of drinking about 2L of water in addition to consuming (more like chewing) a couple of ice trays throughout the day (these mini ice trays I have are so cute!). Staying hydrated and keeping my body's temperature cool (to avoid getting itchy) became really important and I easily disregarded signs that my body was sending me. A couple of months ago while trying to donate blood my iron was low, but I never followed up with a doctor...

Last week, while visiting my family in Mexico (a super quick visit) I got sick. It was in the middle of my visit, so I just hung in there and pushed myself to complete and enjoy the rest of my stay. The next day after I returned to the U.S., I felt weak and ended up going to the doctor. It turns out that I was dehydrating! They found "crystals" in my urine, and of course my hemoglobin levels were low enough to consider me anemic.

The week in Mexico had already left me exhausted, physically and mentally; visiting my dad, whose been in bed for the last four months due to several strokes in the past two and a half years, was quite emotional. Trying to do so many things in such little time got my body tired and stressed, so the news got me crying in a second. As the nurses were trying to find a good vein for the I.V. (they blew two), we were chatting about how important is to drink water and keep your body hydrated, so of course I thought "how ironic".

I am better now and back to drinking 2L of water a day. Doctor visits, tons of tests, and a skin hydration post are coming (skin hydration doesn't depend on the amount of water you drink only). So stay hydrated, stay healthy, and stay happy my friends. 

--
Ana

Biopsy

My annual dermatologist appointment was yesterday, which went well and involved the routine questions (sometimes it feels like I'm explaining it all over again) - Has there been any improvement? Is it worse now during the Summer? Are the Winters better? Are you applying your medication?, and so on. 

The word "biopsy" came out. I was hesitant about it at first (my brother had this procedure done when we were kids and doctors couldn't find any good diagnosis for his condition), but I went ahead and agreed to do the procedure. It turns out there are different types of photodermatitis and knowing the exact type we are dealing with, will help decide on the best treatment from now on. I guess there's still much more to learn about my condition! It will take a couple of weeks for the results to come back and the stitches will come out in ten days. I can't wait to hear the diagnosis and as strange as it might sound, I kind of feel excited.

A shot of my very first and kind-of-exciting biopsy.

+ Biopsy: An examination of tissue removed from a living body to discover the presence, cause, or extent of a disease.

my bare legs

Writing about my old pair of socks made me remember a conversation I had with my mother over the phone a while ago... She didn't want to go with the family to a water park, because she didn't like the way people looked at her legs. She has suffered from varicose veins ever since I remember. I remember her being self-conscious about it and often times she was an object of ridicule for my dad. He would say to me, "go ask mom if we can play with her marbles"... Every time I think about it, my heart aches. I'm not sure if I ever smiled or played along with dad... I do remember, however feeling confused. After all, I too had spots all over my legs which caused me to be the object of ridicule for other kids.

Listening to mom sharing her insecurities with me made me realize that, no matter how old I am, I still feel uncomfortable, uneasy, and anxious when I expose my bare legs to the world. It scares me -- I don't want to  grow old with that feeling. I am afraid of never being able to fully enjoy simple things with my kids, such as going to a splash pad. So, over the last couple of years I have found that looking at my scarred skin from photographs and making illustrations from them has helped me feel a bit more at ease with my photodermatitis. It is as if I finally accept the fact that is not going anywhere and I learn to live with it. I am letting go a little at a time. Hopefully one day (soon) I will not feel uneasy when I hear the words "water park".

Today, as I worked on refreshing the portfolio website I also revisited an illustration from my book. It was just a few years ago that I still felt uncomfortable when looking at it. Today, I can't stop looking and thinking about the many other ways I could have improved that photo shoot... The ideas are starting to pile, so while the weather is still nice - sunny, 33 degrees, and the snow keeps melting, I'm grabbing the scarf, gloves, and sunscreen, because I'm going for a walk.

an old pair of socks

One of the most shocking memories of feeling weird and different because of the photodermatitis was when I was in third grade. My mom was picking me up from school one afternoon and I remember leaving the school holding her hand. As we walked down a crowded street, I remember feeling my old and worn-out knee socks, with little elastic grip, starting to slide down my legs. A woman approached my mom with concern and fear. She asked what was wrong with me. She questioned if I had gotten sick – chicken pox or something similar and why I was in school if that was the case. I don’t remember what exactly my mom answered, but I imagine she answered the usual: “No, it isn’t chicken pox and it isn’t contagious”. What I do remember is how I felt. I think about that day a lot and from time to time I wish I could erase it from my mind.

For the longest time I hated knee socks. You see, I grew up in a household with four siblings and my mom and dad. They could not afford new clothes for me often and I couldn't just come and ask for a new pair of socks, so whenever I did my laundry, which I did by hand, I tried very hard to not mistreat my socks. Knee socks became a big part of my life. Every night, mom would make me wash my arms and face, and sometimes my legs too. She would rub whatever ‘miracle’ cream she had recently acquired on my skin and then put a long pair of socks on my arms. She believed that the socks would keep me from scratching and breaking my skin at night while I was asleep. Every morning she was disappointed when those socks were found at the end of the bed. I would feel ashamed knowing I couldn’t kept those socks on my arms, but I was most ashamed of the bloody stains that my broken skin had left behind.

---

What an irony, I love knee socks now! 

I want to have a pair of knee socks for each day of the year. Each pair with a unique color and pattern, so I can laugh at the fact that Fall & Winter won't have enough days for me to wear them all. We can't choose how things affect us, but we can definitely embrace them and make the best of them possible. If we can accept everything about ourselves -- our skin, our bodies and we learn to embrace it, soon we'll be laughing about the situations we once found devastating. 

:: Snow  |  27ºF  Feels like 13ºF  |  skin is calm, but dry

a little infographic

:: Partly Cloudy  |  High of 36ºF  |  skin is calm, but extremely irritated

Back in 2012 I put together an infographic about photodermatitis. I have freshen it up to share with you today. You can print it or share it and help me spread the word. Let's bring awareness together!

my body is the canvas. the photodermatitis is my paint.

Once I understood that I could not change my condition, the idea of making something beautiful out of it came to mind -- the book was a start, but I think I still have much more to create.

I love flowers. I never realized how much I loved them and nature in general until I moved to the U.S.
Often times I think about my photodermatitis as a delicate beautiful flower... A simple reminder of how amazingly unpredictable nature can be.

I've been away for a while... Just enough to refocus on my illustrations and to experiment with photography. While I still call this a work-in-progress, I am happy to share that I have found a style that I enjoy very much. There's more to come, so stay tuned and drop me a line if you wish.

Beach Day

I have to admit that the simple idea of going to the beach makes me anxious and once there I feel guilty... A walk along the shore, the sound of the waves, sand between my toes, my kiddos playing along, and the feeling of warm sun rays caressing my skin are some of those little things in life that bring me joy and melancholy at the same time. 
Having photodermatitis has taught me to embrace what is unique about me, to savor each day and every little thing in life slowly. Despite my skin condition, I indulge myself with these little things from time to time...

I still battle when going into the sun. No matter how much sunscreen I apply or how long in advance, I find myself "burning" at the end of the day. Cold showers, plenty of ice cubes, and consistent Aloe applications give me some relief. Every time I go back is an opportunity to try harder, make an extra effort, and use more caution -- I take breaks under the shade, wear a hat and long sleeves, re-apply sunscreen, and drink plenty of water. I am certain that as long as I keep practicing extra precautions, I can safely enjoy the beach and other outside activities.

Here's what the Skin Cancer Foundation recommends for beachgoers (summarized): 

• Use plenty of Sunscreen
A minimum of 30 SPF and water-resistant for a whole day at the beach. Applying 1 ounce (Yes, you read right! This is about a shot glass full) 30 minutes BEFORE you put on swimming suit and BEFORE you actually get out of the house (this allows the ingredients to fully bind to the skin). Reapply every two hours or right after swimming. 

• Cover Up
Wear sunglasses, hat, and long sleeves. For us women, brightly colored, long sarongs are another option! 

• Seek the Shade  & Plan Accordingly
Early morning or late afternoon trips to the beach are best, because the sun is most intense between 10AM and 4PM. You can avoid the crowds and perhaps get to enjoy a stunning sunset!

+ Source: Skin Cancer Foundation. Sun Safety Tips for Beachgoers